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Good luck in making peace with your past.
Suicide notes are last confessions, last fuck you’s, last I love you’s. I have been planning mine for years and the time is getting closer.
I have lived as the destroyer for many years, knowing full well the consequences of such a lifestyle. If there was a way to make a good choice I would make the other. I may not decide to cut my own throat on the spot but when things are going good I certainly will exercise my right to self destruction.
I have blog and it is about my life. I lived with horrible child abuse as a kid and now as a grown man that gene/sickness/asshole-ness was passed on to my stepson. Not only could I have changed that for him. I actively decided not to. I thought if I have to be destroyed then by god he could as well.
Why did I stop at your blog? Well I read what you posted and you seemed like a passive observer to self destruction. Are you really like that? I do not know but I need an audience for my final destruction.
I am currently writing a blog http://unburden.wordpress.com documenting my mother’s abuse of me. She and I have had an adversarial relationship for many years but the truth is I love her. However having stated that, you should know I want to destroy her as well.
That fucking cunt ruined my childhood. I will never understand how she could do things she did to me. I wasn’t put on this earth for that. Yet, I passed it on to my stepson. It’s a shame that I bear and I would do anything to erase it.
So on to my suicide. My mother is still alive and she and I actually have a “good” relationship currently. We have had one for several years now since I moved from Seattle back to Minnesota. But I have never forgotten what that fucking rotten bitch did to me as a child. It’s all there for the world to read about in the blog. She was a torturous witch.
Now mom has been involved in Parents Anonymous for many years and works with Helping Paws and is a generally nice person but from the ages of 0-15 she was a goddamn disaster in my life. Now she is all better and a NICE PERSON. What about me?
What about the little boy? I am just supposed to forget right?
She wanted to turn me into a monster and now I am. My formative years were ruined by threats and being scared shitless.
So now I want to die and by god I am going to blow my head off in a billion pieces right in her front yard right by the big rock. Not sure when but its coming.
I have to because it’s my ultimate weapon in our war. The war for survival she started when I was a baby.
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